A stranger in the community

(This picture is taken from the net : it's a Moroccan wedding, with men singers astaghforallah, this is NOT MUSLIM)

Bismillah irrahmanirahim

Assalamou ‘alykum

I have been reading sisters blogs for months, and I didn’t dare opening one, until our sister Flifla from Hénna de la mariée suggested it to me (Allahi jazik ya oukhti).
Al hamdoulilallah, now I’m writing to share with you my experience, hoping that it will help us in our religion.

Sobhanallah, the blogs of the revert are so interesting and so helpful. Even if I was born in a Muslim family, sometimes I consider myself as a revert.

In France, most of Muslims come from North Africa and are called “The Arabs”. And for most people here, when you are Arabs you can only be a Muslim (and for some extremist even Taliban…).

Nevertheless, most of the first wing of emigrants didn’t know a lot about their religion, and often mixed tradition to religion. So many things were done but because in the mother country everybody did it, that was tolerated whereas not accepted by Islam.
Astaghfor allah, major sins were (and keep on being) accepted because ‘our ancestors accepted them’ (mixed parties, consulting fortune tellers, bewitching people using curse…)

I don’t want to hurt anybody I’m just going to speak about what happen in my circle.

I grew up in a traditional family. I’ve always seen my parents praying and fasting. The most important thing for them was to succeed, to be the best at school in order to be respected. My father wanted to protect us from bad “company” so we didn’t have “Arabs” friends and didn’t Even if my mother was a great believer, she didn’t wear the hijab whereas she was a beautiful woman. During summer holydays we went to Morocco, to see the family, and each year we went to mixed marriages, to the sea side. We were seen as ‘open’ Muslims ‘(astaghforallah).

Sobhanallah, I don’t know what happen to my mother, but when she was about forty, she decided to go to Mecca and to wear hijab even if my father wasn’t keen on that idea. So little by little she tried to change but when your company didn’t change you can’t change a lot.

As far as I’m concerned, I’ve started to change when I travelled aboard as an Erasmus student. I felt so alone that I was checking masajids in order to see Muslims and to listen to the Qur’an. And sobhanallah, what I noticed it’s that the Arabs were so far from deen, and the revert so close to it. I was so ashamed by some behaviour…

And Allah sent me a light in my life: a Spanish sister called Zaynab. She was married to the Imam of the masjid of Seville. I was the only Arab woman there, but I was so well welcomed even if I didn’t wear the hijab at that time. She taught me so many thing and the most important to be close to The Almigty, making douaa, trusting in him. There was so much love sobhallah.

Back home, I felt so weak so I started to make douaa: I’d just wanted to have a simple life but a real Muslim life with a husband that could help me in the path to Jannah, And sobhanallah I was granted. A friend of mine presented him to me: I couldn’t imagine that I would meet someone like him (Allahou akbar)

My problems with the community have started when I decided to change my life and to live according to the Sunnah. A lot of my friends and some of my own family thought that I had a brainwash, some betting on how long my marriage would last. But alhamdoulillah, that happened 10 years ago and I have two wonderful boys (allahi hfadhoum).

But I keep on being seen as a stranger, as a poor wife married to a hard husband! For example I don’t go to mixed parties (or when only women are invited the singers are men!), whereas some hijabees go, even if they take part from the local masjid, pleading ‘Allah ghaleb’. Astaghfourlallah, ashahaytan ghaleb!

But I don’t care: I want to see the face of God in Jannah with those that I loved Amine

When someone chose the side of God, he will never loose, even if it can be hard.

Keep your Imane
Imane.